Farked managers use many common words to obfuscate the true meaning of the conversation. in that spirit, we present this short guide to commonly-abused words.

Word: Associate
Translation: Grunt

Word: opportunity
Translation: problem!

Word: estimate
Translation: wild-assed-guess

Word: schedule
Translation: fantasy

Word: team
Translation: the people who follow my orders

Word: teamwork
Translation: my crew following my orders

Word: layoffs
Translation: firings. You think we're gonna call you back if business picks up?
Translation: this is an excuse to eliminate those who we perceive to be deadwood. Those who have no champion in the company. To eject those who are nearest the airlock. (You do know why people seek promotion, don't you? To distance themselves from the airlock.)

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