I found this short blog entry on how to quit your job. While useful (it's full of the usual stuff about giving notice, writing vague resignation letters, and other bromides) we think that there are ways to spice up the process.
There are lots of ways to let your company know that you quit. How about these time-tested techniques:
- Place a mannequin in your cubicle, dressed like you, and take off for an unannounced six-week vacation in Cabo San Lucas.
- Come to work wearing nothing but a bowtie.
- Attend the next all-hands-on-deck meeting with a tape recorder and a big-assed microphone, and tell them you are collecting supporting evidence.
What's that you say? They're watching your every move online? Say no more, bub! Check out this nifty little bit of free software:
Download Torpark and put it on a USB Flash keychain. Plug it into any internet terminal whether at home, school, or public. Run Torpark.exe and it will launch a Tor circuit connection, which creates an encrypted tunnel from your computer indirectly to a Tor exit computer, allowing you to surf the internet anonymously. How much does Torpark cost? IT'S FREE.
Or, spend most of your time in closed-door sessions with your managers or other execs in the company.
This will help ensure that you are solidly in the inner circle and thus indispensible to the organization - at least, until your projects fail miserably because you were asleep at the wheel.
Oh, yes, this is one of my favorite ones. Make sure you promote only those in your clique (you did remember to develop a clique, didn't you? Well, be sure to promote only those people you are comfortable with - after all, it's always more pleasant to surround oneself with people who reinforce your way of thinking or doing things.
Make sure you hang out with only a select few in your organization. Don't make any effort to reach out to new people. Get into your comfort zone with people who look, think, talk, and smell like you.
One of the biggest problems I've seen with managers is that may make almost no effort to get to know their new hires on a less formal basis - a new team member joins the company, and the manager may have lunch with a group that includes the new hire, but that's about the extent of it.
Ideally, if one wishes to foster trust, open communication, and loyalty, one should reach out to the new hire, remove them from the office setting, and get to know the new hire - and let the new hire get to know you.
